I have noticed, over the years of teaching, that weekly/ monthly themes tend to emerge in the studio. Perhaps this is because often many of my students are preparing for the same studio recital or the same audition, or maybe because of some sense of collective consciousness, or perhaps still that once I notice a pattern in one student, I tend to notice it in all of them. Regardless of the reason, themes help draw the studio together in progress and help me feel a little more unified in my teaching goals.
One such theme that came up this month was the idea of ‘being ok with crashing and burning”. What does that mean, as a musician? As I think of it, crashing and burning looks like failing spectacularly at a desired outcome, such as singing a high note that sounds good, or playing a complicated passage free of error. We have all experienced it – you really want to be successful, but what comes out sounds nothing like what you hoped for – and it just might be jarring enough to derail the entire run-through. It is a painful experience, and one that we naturally wish to avoid. Despite this, being ok with crashing and burning is often the only way to ultimately reduce its likelihood. It is counterintuitive – as singers (or pianists) who are investing in your own personal growth, you don’t want to crash and burn but, rather, you want to improve your success rate in various parameters ranging from technical to artistic to expressive. However, the desire for success does not always translate into success but can, instead, be maladaptive.
When you prepare to complete a musical task (or, in the case of a song, a series of musical, artistic, and expressive tasks strung together and often happening simultaneously), the process goes more or less the same way:
1) You have, in your mind, an idea of the sound you want to make
2) Your brain sends a signal to your body to execute the physical movement necessary to complete the task
3) You make an attempt to complete the task
4) Your brain compares the outcome to the expectation with which you began
5) You respond to that comparison
When we crash and burn, somewhere along the way, something has failed. If this occurs at step 1, you may not have a clear idea of what sound you’re trying to make or how the melody actually goes. At step 2, perhaps you lack the physical proficiency to complete the task (ie a high note out of your range or the lack of understanding of how to sing it ). These are fairly obvious problems that require straightforward solutions; 1) either learn the musical more accurately or 2) continue to work on developing the physical proficiency of your instrument. At step 3, however, things get more interesting.
The most common issue affecting steps 3-5 is a conflating or confusing of these steps. Musicians often subconsciously skip to step 4 & 5 (compare & respond) WHILE they’re actually supposed to be focused on step 3. The part of you that completes step 3 is much more physical and much less intellectual than any of the other steps. To be successful, you must step back from the thinking and focus only on the physical doing – relying on the same, instinctive part of your brain you might devote to skipping down a flight of stairs, jumping over a small stream, or catching a ball. You don’t have TIME to think about the steps as you’re doing them – the knowledge of how to execute these tasks is stored in a much deeper, more primal part of the brain. Trying to micromanage such tasks would only reduce their accuracy and success rate. But the more emotionally fraught a task is, the more difficult it is to let go of that control.
Making music is a big part of the musician’s identity. We do not want to crash and burn. We want success and accuracy SO much that, almost as soon as we begin, we are already skipping ahead to compare and react. Sometimes we compare and assess and react to the success of a phrase before we’ve even finished singing or playing it! And when we do react, it’s not a reaction that builds confidence – but rather a negative reaction of disappointment and frustration towards oneself! It’s not hard to see how that might get in the way of physical coordination and accuracy (not to mention tension). However, learning to embrace the possibility of crashing and burning allows you to focus on the process rather than the outcome.
I break it down pretty simply:
1) Set the intention, i.e. “I am going to take a deep breath, and open my mouth as I sing the high note, focusing on abdominal support”
2) Give it a shot but BE OK with crashing and burning “I am ok with my voice cracking, or the note sounding tense – I will not stop until I finish the phrase, no matter what”
3) To really magnify this effect, sing or play through it 3 times, focusing on your intentions, before you even consider assessing success. There is a lot to be said for the inherent wisdom of the body to just “figure out” physical tasks through judgement-free repetition. And if you nail it the first time, the reinforcement won’t hurt!
4) Only once you’ve completed the phrase should you stop and reflect – and when you reflect be sure not only to assess the sound but also to ask “was I successful in completing the intentions I set? Did I take that deep breath, did I open my mouth, did I focus on my support?”
5) Your response should then focus on adjustments related to those intentions – maybe you need to try again to successfully complete all the tasks you set yourself.
This allows your assessment process to be much less outcome driven (which tends to be frustrating) and much more actionable, because you are directly tying your assessment to the intentional steps you take. You will find that with this approach, the fear failure no longer distracts you and you’ve actually reduced the likelihood of crashing and burning. And whenever (inevitably) you do crash and burn, by assessing the success of the steps you took, you will be able to use that as information to improve and reduce future crashing and burning without beating yourself up.
Try this out and let me know how it goes! Do you relate the experience of fearing to crash and burn? Does the five- step process for overcoming this fear work for you? Let me know in the comments!
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